Do the Texas Longhorns ruin your Saturday?

This sounds like the start of one of those class-action lawsuit commercials. Have you bet on the Texas Longhorns before? Has Quinn Ewers and Coach Sarkisian let you down? YOU MAY BE ENTITLED TO COMPENSATION.

No, Vegas isn’t going to reimburse your gambling losses unfortunately. Maybe if you’re a big enough degenerate you can use them as a tax write off.

But if you get mad enough at the Longhorns, I just might publish your semi-private tirade on this blog.

From Nick B.

Quinn Ewers found innovative ways to throw up on himself in what should have been a STATEMENT bounce-back spot for Texas. Typically, when we think about BARF, we think about our less intelligent college buddy who decided to rip pulls out of the dragonfruit bacardi bottle before leaving the dorm room - to this day, I cannot believe that ended with his head in the toilet.

On Saturday night in Atlanta, we saw a "good guy" absolutely torpedo himself and his team's chances of winning anything remotely important this college football season. Let's be honest: Texas had an absolute cakewalk this year to the SEC championship game with a roster loaded with talent and NIL money. In recent weeks, many have accused Ohio State of putting a drunk teenager behind the week of a Ferrari, but I think the University of Texas was even more negligent than dumbass Ryan Day and company. 

Why in the sweet flying frick would you continually give this man the football. What has Quinn Ewers done to deserve a team of this caliber, with a schedule as ass as this year's was? 

I am not a Texas stan - I do bet on them often - but I am not a Texas stan. Having said that, Ryan Day and the Ohio State Buckeyes can still go out and win a National Championship - Texas cannot. Quinn Ewers is an inept arm who for some reason cannot run with the football in his hand (???), that will most certainly land on the New York Jets roster next season to continue to torment me.

Why do I even care? I only lost $50 on stupid Texas and stupid Quinn Ewers. IT'S ABOUT PRINCIPLE. Texas used to be a proud university built on great football players like Ricky Williams and Vince Young. Now it's dumbass Quinn Ewers when you have LITERALLY THE BEST COLLEGE FOOTBALL PROSPECT MAYBE EVER ON YOUR ROSTER. Is this a Sark problem? 

Maybe I am the crazy one. I could own that. But I don't think I am. I think anyone with a brain would agree with me.

Who even cares? Congrats on the $50 FanDual. 

God-damnit....

WE’D LIKE TO THANK NICK FOR HIS CONTRIBUTION. AND NO, WE WILL NOT BE STARTING A GO FUND ME CAMPAIGN TO COVER HIS SAD, SAD LOSSES.

You get 24 hours to mourn a loss. In this case, less.

It’s not March, but we still get a Selection Sunday. The College Football Playoff Committee will release the 12 teams who will make the playoff in less than 30 minutes. We’ll give you our 1-12 in a bit but first we want to remind you how this all works.

Here’s what you need to know.

👉️ The five highest-ranked conference champions and the next seven highest-ranked teams will earn a spot in the 12-team bracket.

👉️ There is no limit to how many teams from one conference can qualify.

👉️ There is no minimum ranking for the five highest-ranked conference champions.

👉️ The four highest-ranked conference champions will earn the top four spots and a first-round bye.

👉️ Teams 5-12 will face play in the first round at the better-ranked team’s home field.

So here’s how we see this going down.

1. Oregon (They are a perfect 13-0. They’ll remain the 1 seed, they need to clean up some defensive issues quickly)

2. Georgia (Georgia handed Texas both losses this season but after a wildly competitive season on the road, Georgia was able to get to the SEC Championship and find their way to a first-round bye)

3. Boise State ( Who would’ve guessed we’d have a Mountain West team taking the third seed and getting a first-round bye? Boise is a solid football team, and their only loss came to #1 Oregon in a close game. Boise was ranked #10 last week in the CFP top 25 rankings, but thanks to the conference champ rule, they’ll get a first-round bye. )

4. Arizona State (This is where things get a little crazy. ASU was ranked #15 in the CFP rankings before their matchup against #16 Iowa State. ASU didn’t hold back during the Big 12 Championship. They stomped on Iowa State. Clemson may have beaten a higher-ranked SMU in the ACC Championship, but I think the ASU domination gives them the 4-spot. )

Now for the 5-12 spots.

5. Notre Dame (They had a really bad loss to the NIU this season, but the way things are laid out, I don’t see them not being #5.

6. Texas (Overtime in the SEC Championship, I don’t see how you can be penalized too much for that. I think a 6 seed is well deserved here)

7. Penn State (This is where things start go get hairy for me. They played a very competitive Big 10 Championship game against Oregon. Their only other loss , albeit with an easy schedule, was against Ohio State. I think making the Big 10 Championship means something this year, though, and I think Penn State played OSU better than they get credit for. I think they deserve to be ranked above OSU, maybe not Tennesse though)

8. Tennessee (UT lost to Georgia and Arkansas. Georgia is understandable but Arkansas? That can’t happen. This whole 7-9 spot is tough for me because I don’t love Tennessee’s schedule, but they do have some decent wins in the SEC)

9. Ohio State (Look, OSU will probably get the #7 seed when it’s all said and done, I just think if you have 2 losses, with one being to a bad Michigan team this year and you can’t even make the Big 10 Championship, you don’t deserve to be over the team that did make it. It’s that simple. Be happy that you made it to the playoff and still have the chance to win a natty)

10. Clemson (Clemson opened the season against Georgia and I respect that. They lost to Louisville and South Carolina, and I respect South Carolina. I think SC got screwed in the LSU game, and they could be in this playoff, too, but not everyone can get in. Clemson maybe gets like an 8 seed by the committee but I think this is the best they should get)

11. SMU (SMU’s only loss in the regular season was to BYU. BYU was rolling early on. Granted, SMU’s schedule was easier, but they did come to a new conference and handled their business. Again, I don’t think you should be booted from the playoff for losing your conference championship, especially when it was a close one.

12. Indiana (Sometimes your schedule plays out a certain way and you end up with 1 loss. Bama fans will complain about the strength of schedule for Indiana but all I have to say is, don’t lose to Vanderbilt and a terrible Oklahoma team. In this case, 3 losses is more damaging than 1 loss to Ohio State. Maybe we’ll see you need year Bama, but this year Indiana get’s to lose to Notre Dame in the first round.

There you have it. The matchups are…

Notre Dame vs. Indiana

Texas vs SMU (Hell yea)

Penn State vs Clemson

Tennessee vs Ohio State

Have a great day and remember……

Don’t let your Mondays ruin your Sundays!